Year-end Survey + Hiatus

1.) Where did you ring in 2006?
Steve's place with the boys. Drunken madness. I passed out before midnight. I rock.

2.) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
this question is stated as if I was planning to achieve something by then!

3.) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
BA baaabbbyyy

4.) How did you earn your keep?
webmaster job on campus

5.) Did you ever have to go to the hospital?
no

6. Did you have an encounter with the police?
mm I feel like I have but dont remember.... typical.

7.) Where did you go on vacation?
Mediterranean

8.) What did you purchase that was over $500?
nothing

9.) Did you know anybody who got married?
Leo!

10.) Did you know anybody who passed away?
no

11.) Have you ran into anybody you graduated high school with?
mm don't remember

12.) Did you move anywhere?
back home

13.) What sporting events did you go to?
did i? hahah

14.) What concerts did you go to?
Ozma ozma ozma ozma

15.) Are you registered to vote?
yes

16.) If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
yes

17.) Where do you live now?
the town

18.) Describe your birthday?
dimsum with fams, shopped in frisco all day with my mom to buy work clothes, dinner at bordeaux for fillet mignoooonnnn, zanze's cheesecake, more cake at jacob+james'

19.) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
one night stand? i'm sucha ho.

20.) What is one thing you regretted this year?
hooking up with certain people, but not really at the same time.

21.) What's something you learned about yourself?
that i love myself, that i can sometimes be my own best friend which sounds really creepy and kinda schizo but you know. whatevs.

22.) Any new additions to your family?
no

23.) What was your best month?
july.

24.) Best decision made all year?
Tickling the idea and eventually going thru with asking henry to come to oakland to hang out

25.) What will you remember 2006 by?
half full of drunken debauchery, the other half of slowly growing up and meeting an amazing person along the way

26.) What are you doing to ring in 2007?
spend new years eve with my significant other, something i've never done before!

---

hiatus

: hey gohgoh, there's a small little computer next to the game room stairs with your name on it, do you still need the parts to that computer?
brother: lemme think
: specifically the ram, i stole the ram
: hahah
brother: yeah go ahead, but dunno what you would use in ther...i can't think of anyting reliable in there :-)
brother: i think the power supply is pretty small
brother: the processor is a celeron somthing....not even a 1 GHz Processor
: oh i just wanted the ram
: haha
brother: bawahha....go ahead if it works :-)
: thanks!
brother: i was thinking of dumping it eventually...but have kept it around because of such a small case
brother: good foot stool too
: hahah oh it's that one
: now i have a whooping 352 mb of rab
: *ram
brother: you only had 256 MD before?
brother: MB i mean
: yeah all thru college
brother: how do u survive :-)
: technique and patience
brother: even [mommy's] computer has more
: the old [one] or the new [one]?
brother: the new one of course ... the old one might as well not exist
: that new one is better than anything i've ever had
: which is simply the computer i just rebuilt

The last two days, I've fixed up my computer to give to my younger cousins who've never had a computer before. Sucks... they're prolly in jr high/high school without a computer. I can't imagine being computer/internetless growing up, most especially at this time and age. Anyway, this will help end my internet addiction so I won't be around too much after this (I hope). Until I earn enough money for my own, I'll be using my parents' here and there to check email/find friends to DS with.

Happy holidays and be safe <3

I'm excited to WORK!!

I really am.
it's good to know i'm out of my bum phase and back to productivity. back to LIVING! WOOOHOOO!!

All the best DJs are saving
The slowest song for last
When the dance is through
It's me and you
Come on would it really be so bad?



Today, I made lasagna. I'm gonna perfect it like I did my "special" chocholate chip cookies.

Dream from last night. Cold, Lifeless, but Absolute.

I don't remember the back story, but my family and I might have been on vacation or something, at some shady place, where there was a war going on. and I guess the battles had moved on into our hotel area, so we tried to grab all of our belongings to leave. My mom and dad were somewhere further off where we were supposed to eventually meet up with them, but my bros and I were packing our things until we heard "them" (the bad guys?) stomping thru the hotel hallways. So we hid. Within the sliding closet. I was on the side closer to the entrance, and my brothers were closer to the room wall. Some "enemy" guy walked in quietly to look for any valuables or something, and he opened the closet door, the one I was hiding behind. He grabbed me out, and didnt even bother to notice the two other ppl behind the other closet door, and he tried to man-handle me onto the bed. But (I guess because I'm so ridiculously strong?) my struggling stalled time, cuz I knew inside the closet, my brothers were reaching for some emergency golden pistols. They were loading them, while I was stalling time. But it was scary nonetheless. I couldn't understand what the bad guy was saying to me, but he pulled out his penis and made suggestive implications all while grabbing a tight hold of my wrist. A shot sounded and there was a hollow hole thru the guy's penis. No blood, just a hole thru the shaft. The guy didn't looked hurt, just looked down to examine himself. Another shot sounded and while he was still holding on tight to my wrist, my oldest brother had shot him in the chest. There was a time where nothing happened but we just watched his body to see what would happen. He was still holding on tight, and all I could think of was, "Shoot him again to make sure..." My oldest brother handed the pistol to my other brother who shot two to four times more in the chest. The grip around my wrist loosened a little. My brother looked at me with the pistol in hand with a look of, "Do you want to do it to make sure?" I shook my head. Both of them were confident, sure, and completely expressionless. We grabbed our things and left the room to meet up with our parents.

i'm in LOVE with BAGEL BITES!

they're so good.
.......

from when I went down to Riverside to surprise the boy. the roomies and i were waiting around impatiently for a few hours that they even set up a little decoy boobie-trap for kicks, the waterbottle on top of door trick. lawlz. pwned.




conventional oven is DEFINITELY better than microwaving it. tsk tsk tsk. look at all that melted crust. sigh. wasted.

i also found this pic while google imaging "bagel bites"

lawlz.

Cuz there's beauty in the break down

I've been really grouchy today. It's probably because I have this bad hoarse throat thing going on, that won't go away no matter how much water I drink. Plus, some pipe on our street blew and they've shut off water for the night while they fix it.

Anyway, grouchy. It's the kinda grouchy where I pick out all the little annoying things that the people around me do. And when I say 'all' I mean ALL. It's where it's just best if you don't ask me a question or provoke me to talk, because the only thing I have to say is to make you feel bad for making me talk to begin with. The only things I have to say are to make you feel stupid for saying something, ask you why you had to do something, and then criticize you for it.

That's how it used to be a lot when I lived at home. I'm good at making people feel like they're shit. I did that a lot with Marco. And I hate(d) myself for it. So I've cut down on it a lot more in the last two to three years. But being used to doing that for years of my life, sometimes you just relapse. And I guess the worst part is... I don't know where all the anger comes from. I hate how our world teaches us that it's much more acceptable to hate each other than it is to love each other, to the point where loving is just weird and awkward. But I'm not blaming other people for my own issues... I am society, society is me, is you, is us, is me.

Growing up, I was always the venting hole for my mom when it came to all her friends, our relatives, my dad. If anyone's seen the movie The Squid and the Whale (a movie that I highly don't really recommend but I supposed deserves some recognition since it pretty much left quite a mark in my mind), the beginning shows how easily and closely children follow in their parents' footsteps, more than often very bilaterally. "I don't like how the family's hella split in half because the kids just follow one parent or other," I said to Man. But to be honest, I follow my mom pretty much 100% when it comes to opinions and judgements. I'm pretty sure I greatly disliked and was annoyed of my dad for a bulk of my childhood because of the things she would vent to me about. I'm not blaming her but just saying... that's just how things were...

I love my mom. But there are just some times... I don't want to believe that she's right. And I don't want to listen to all the things she has to say because it just gets me more and more mad how negative and jugdemental she can be. And what I hate the most, no... what SCARES me the most is that I can be influenced by that. that I'll turn out like that one day. Because I don't WANT to be like that. I don't WANT to have an opinion for everything. I don't WANT to be so critical of everything and everyone. People are who they ARE. I LIKE accepting people for who they are, and I LIKE trying to understand why people do the things they do without shutting them out right away. I'm so scared of turning out to be like her. probably because I know there's a part of me that's just like that right now too.

One of the things I've come to learned is to try to be appreciative of those people who AREN'T appreciative of others. Minorities among the minorities. LVL blessed us with such immense knowledge, but it only makes things so much more complicated and complex. "Be a sheep, but be a SMART sheep." These are the kinda times where ignorance is bliss. Times like these, I just want to mindlessly follow everyone else and NOT know things and NOT see things. One of the greatest things about Sociology is that it's applicable to everyone and everything. One of the worst things about Sociology is that it's applicable to everyone and everything. If you let it get to you, you analyze anything and everything around you. I love Soc. My radar's on way too much for my own mental health. And I'm usually not sure how to turn it off.

Whatever. here's my latest art piece.

The Monsters In Your Bed

(that's a bad pic. i'll retake in the morning with better lighting.)

i'm pretty bipolar arent i? brace yourself, henry.
... i cant wait for you to come home...

i like this guy named henry.

i like him a lot.

No, I ain't talkin about no soccer player. Sure, he's great and all but he sure ain't gonna behead me!


There's no way he's the vacuum I saw on the cruise cuz he's not THAT clean! And I guess he kinda makes up witty rhymes here and there but he's no Thoreau!





His name is Henry, and I actually know him but, that's just not the one I'm talkin about man!


Yeah I may have dated him before but that was ages ago! Not THAT Henry!


The guy I'm talking about draws and all that but that's just a totally different style!
Tomy's chili cheese fries are always good for bribery, however.







ღ.♥.¸ஐ¸.·*ღ♥´¯`*·.¸¸♥ღ *..this is so gross i wanna throw up..*ღ♥¸¸.·*´¯`♥ღ*·.¸ஐ¸.♥.ღ
i totally need to be kicked for this one.

I guess I'll do a short post for the eve of

Life is SUCH a weird concept. It's kinda like sleeping, if you think about it. Everyday, we wake up to a world that's been running on its own while you were in your blissful unconsciousness, and when you wake up, you start your own day. If you think about it, it's like we're born every single time we wake up. Out of some vague darkness, into the hustly bustly world, only to go back to another vague dark place.

I like that concept of us being the center of the world, in a sense that all you know is what you know. And even then, who knows if even THAT is real. For all you know, the world only existed when you were born. For all you know, the world only exists the moment you wake up in bed. For all you know, the world DOESN'T exist the day after you die. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm thankful for everything I have, everything I've learned, all the people I've met and have helped me grow in each other their own individual ways, all the little things that make me smile, all the grand things that make me smile. I'm thankful for love, for understanding, acceptance, open-mindedness, their opposites to justify the things I believe in, for all the opportunities I've been given, for being in the place that I am today, for growing up in Oakland, for being allowed to be me, for having a roof to live under, for having the internet, for having the choice of having any food I desire, for my friends for loving me for me, for my friends, for Henry, for my brothers, for my parents.



And you ask me what I want this year and I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days, cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings, and desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words, and sing out loud, cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live, and something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world, and there's 10 million more who probably could, if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words, and sing out loud, cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight, and somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words, and sing out loud, cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again