Leggo my eggo

I'm not who you think I am.
I'm not the stereotypes you think of me as.
I will never be who you want me to be.

A long time ago, I promised myself that I could make myself different, that I WOULD be special. Like any other low self esteemed adolescent, I mentally had a hard time trying to fit in. I didn't have the resources to spend on buying the materialistic things that all the teeny boppers did, I couldn't develop my social life as other people got to go out more--and didn't have curfews at that. But in retrospect, I probably did fit in really well. More than I knew. I was simply just another asian girl with the worries and troubles that any other asian girl had, just a different degree.

A lot has happened since those days and a lot has changed. I wonder what people think when they see my internet personas on facebook, on myspace, etc. etc. Do they see just another asian girl? Do they see a hardworker? Do they see a partier? Point is... seeing these profiles online are as shallow as seeing someone in person, across the street. Except... it's even more shallow than just that. Point is... even though I could never meet the expectations and standards of society, that I could never be financially/academically successful thru the hard maths and sciences and all that other mumbojumbo, I'm really grateful for the path that I've taken, and for the substance that I carry with me now.

Through it all, I guess I always find ways to make myself feel special, affirmation that I AM worth something, that no one else is like me. I always gotta go and do something different. Talk about egotism to the max.

Point is... I can't stand it when people who don't me that well assume that they know everything about me. There are so many sides to each person that it's almost impossible to know EVERYTHING about one person. We can never truly KNOW someone... probably cuz we never truly know ourselves.

With that said and done, I am always grateful for my closest friends that DO know the things I've gone through--good and bad--and their acceptance, understanding, and APPRECIATIVENESS of my history.

I need to get off this egotistic trip.

This is what we do after we graduate from college.

It was Friday night. What better to do than...


to go play with all of Eugenia's nephews toys while he's passed out!!!!!!!!! Notice how she shows little or no interest in joining me.

but all along i knew, deep down inside........



...scary beyond relief.

wheeeeeeeee! look how much fun i'm having lol

came with bombass background too! shit! "totem pole" rofl

The humans were scared for their lives and hid in the bushes from the trecherous dinosaurs. Little did they know, they were only dealing with the harmless herbivores. Silly humans!

AAAAaaaaAAAAAAhhhHHHHH!!! hahahahahahhahaha

hahah :(

i.
can't.
stop.
listening.
to.
this.
song.



i keep sneaking up on my mom and whispering "ling nay ling nay ling nay ling nay" hahaha :((

<3 90s music.

[19:19] strangleberry: like i was sittin gin the back of the room
[19:19] strangleberry: and sean came back
[19:19] strangleberry: and he said i was as red as a beet
[19:19] strangleberry: and kenny said he could smell alky from the aisle
[19:19] strangleberry: and everyone who saw me was like did you drink?
[19:19] strangleberry: omg it's 6pm!

haaaahahahahaha
i miss 303. we were so dedicated to partying that we had an official "calendar 'o fun" with a strict drinking/partying schedule.

hey, at least she didn't go to a PFLAG (parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays) meeting drunk..... at 5PM.... haaaaahahah

oh how i miss them so.

spidey sense is going crazy

I think the weirdest thing is that we're FOREVER going to be interlocked, our lives, the four of us, or however many of us it is. Whatever. Sometimes, you really DO think, you really ARE convinced books are closed and filed away. ha ha ha. knock knock who's there

Anyway, one of the things I've felt most grateful for these last two days is that I was smart enough to take care of myself through the last few years. People think they can get out of casual relationships without having a scratch on them. I'm really really glad I handled and dealt with everything in the past and that I don't have to deal with things half a year later. People really do think it's always easy and simple to just have a hook-up buddy. It's only easy and simple depending on the people involved. Most often, someone gets attached, someone gets hurt, someone wants something the other can't give. Sex is NEVER free. I'm really glad I already paid my (emotional) price, that I've learned, and moved on. Good thing I'm quite experienced in paranoia? germaphobia? whatever.

I don't mean to come off as wishing harm onto others, cuz I really don't feel that way. It's just that a lot of people don't realize there are so many repercussions to every action taken. I'm just really glad I don't have to be a part of this now, cuz well... the whole web of us are being pulled together. I'm REALLY grateful I don't have to deal with this. I really am blessed. I really am a lucky person. YOKATTA.